The last jedi
The eight instalment of the Skywalker story from the revolutionary Star Wars franchise that we all grew up loving… until now!
$200 – $317 million
Luke Skywalker’s peaceful and solitary existence gets upended when he encounters Rey, a young woman who shows strong signs of the Force. Her desire to learn the ways of the Jedi forces Luke to make a decision that changes their lives forever. Meanwhile, Kylo Ren and General Hux lead the First Order in an all-out assault against Leia and the Resistance for supremacy of the galaxy.
The first good thing about TLJ was the pant-wetting excitement of finally getting to see Luke, one of my childhood heroes, on the big screen again (for longer than the 5 seconds he appeared in TFA), going into this film, I was as giddy as Giddy McGiddyson on a high-speed carousel having drunk 8 pints of Stella.
The throne room scene was also a great highlight, even though it’s not the best lightsaber fight scene you’ll ever see but it did
Finally, the last good point about this films was that it finally ended… yeah, get over it!
I wouldn’t even know where to start, this is an absolute travesty of a film. It takes beloved characters and treats them with absolute contempt.
Leia suddenly has Superman powers. Luke is a miserable, self-centered arsehole and not the hero we all grew up admiring. See that gif at the top of the page? Yeah, that’s Luke squeezing the tits of an alien walrus thing for green milk, and then he drinks it… yep! Admiral Ackbar is forever removed from this franchise as if he was nothing more than an annoying insect. And don’t even get me started on those Porg bastards!
There are scenes that are prequel level bad with regard to the CGI (see the sad space horse below), the dialogue, and the direction the actors are given. Benicio del Toro does his damndest to be a bigger tosser that Jar Jar Binks… and comes pretty close too. And the ‘humour’ is pitiful and ill-timed and is better placed on a BBC sitcom.
All the women are ultra wise, battled hardened war veterans, who are always several steps ahead of the angry, hot-headed man babies. All in all, this is nothing more than feminist propaganda and Hollywood virtue signalling on the grandest of all stages.
SCORE : 2/10
If you loved the originals, appreciated the nostalgia of The Force Awakens and was mesmerised at Rogue One, this piece of crap movie takes us back to the level of the prequels with an added dose of political correctness thrown in for good measure. Avoid at all costs… unless you like your latte with lots of soy milk.
What do the others say?
Don’t just take my word for it, have a look to see what the big players like Rotten Tomatoes (RT), IMBD, Metacritic and Honest Trailers are saying. Remember though, it’s because of some of the scores on these sites and their blatant favouritism to certain studios is why our site was started. The Audience Score on RT is perfect example of how the masses view films compared to critics.
MARKS OUT OF 10
MARKS OUT OF 100